Fear of slipping away

If I seek God but doubt, I can be sure that I will receive nothing. To fear that I may fall is to doubt the power of God.

I have this fear that if I go to Delhi, I may be pulled away from my faith. I’ve seen and heard many friends fall away. They were strong in the Lord and they were not pretending. I was surprised by the news of their fall and it made me uncertain of my own state. I am not strong enough as they were, so if I move out of this comfortable cocoon, I’ve a greater chance of slipping away. I was going for a morning walk in Bishnupur and I had a small Bible in my hand. I turned to the first chapter of James and read,

“Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds…testing of your faith produces perseverance… so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God…but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt…that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord…Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial…he will receive the crown of life…”

“Keep me from falling, I don’t doubt you”, I prayed.

Bishnupur, November 2005