War of the sexes in the trans-Brahmaputra and the Lalooland connection

It angers me to see our girls dropped off early in the morning half dead by some Yakubu or some !dille (ask a Russell Peters' disciple to pronounce that for you). Again it angers me to not have sufficient fiscal resources or the audacity of a Punjabi guy to take our girls out in the evenings. We the menfolk of the trans-Brahmaputra are to be blamed for loving our bottles better than our ladies. The sober ones chicken out and fail to be a man. But I've come to realize that it may not be all that bad to let our sisters out. For instance, I feel safer to travel by the Brahmaputra mail when crossing Lalooland because one of ours is married to that land. I don't know her personally but we have mutual friends in facebook. I already feel closer to Lalooji. Imagine what wonders it can do to have such connections in every state of India and beyond. If I should meet an unfortunate day and is about to be thrashed by the Biharis, I'll yell out the connections.