Tea drinkers more likely to go to heaven

Another half baked article for weekly column :)


Health Et Al.There was a study conducted by the Faith Research Institute, Notown which showed that tea drinkers are more likely to go to heaven. Tea drinkers have a higher percentage of having ‘Born Again’ experience than the control group which does not drink tea.
It is probably because religious people have a higher tendency to meet over a cup of tea and talk, where the gospel is preached and more people experience being ‘Born Again’.

The above research is a fanciful study done with questionable methodology from a non-existent research institute in an imaginary place called Notown. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a research done on such a topic showing similar findings. One must be cautious in interpreting the research reports that we see in newspapers and journals almost every day. There is already a study which found that sitting is injurious to health. In health, strictly speaking, every human activity is injurious to health. Because of ageing, even Time can be said to be injurious to health. Jogging, although proven to be beneficial, can also be injurious to health. There are bacteria and viruses lurking in the grasses which may pounce on morning joggers and infect them.

In the above hypothetical study, one may have to ask certain parameters which may not be clearly stated: (a) Say, 80% of tea drinkers reported having experienced ‘Born Again’ compared to 73% among those who don’t drink tea. But if the sample size is too small, the responses of a few will significantly affect the result. Likewise, inferences coughed out from opinion polls in the newspapers can be tricky when we don’t know if the number of participants taking part in such polls is substantial. (b) One also may question the underlying parameter of using ‘Born Again’ experience as a ‘ticket’ to heaven. Hidden agendas while framing the research objectives and preconceived ideas while preparing the questionnaire can be masked in research language. If we want a particular result and do a research to prove it, the interpretation of research findings can be also tilted towards that end. To sell a product, companies may simply conduct certain bogus research to proof the quality/superiority of their product. One may also draw inferences out of some finding which the research is not intending to study. What if the above research is interpreted as, ‘Drinking tea causes people to go to heaven’. Then, people start to drink tea in order to go to heaven. Causality and Association are not the same. Association of two factors doesn’t mean one is causing the other. There was instance when research in Homosexuality was presented in the media, something like, ‘we have finally found the gay gene which causes homosexual behavior,’ while it was only association of factors. (c) For the sake of the next point, let's say that drinking tea causes people to go to heaven. Now, the question is, 'What is the use of the research?' Will the result educate people to change behavior (start to drink tea) and shape public policies (investment in tea production) or increase human knowledge (of the properties of Tea or the concept of Heaven?) If not, what is the utility of a research linking tea drinking to going to heaven?
Some instances where research is not all black or white and can have important repercussions are given below:


  • Fellow doctors need to be cautious of many so-called research findings that pharmaceutical companies provide in the OPDs to back up their products. There are reportedly so many bogus drugs and questionable claims of drug properties. They may refer to research studies published in some ‘Journal’ but that doesn’t necessarily make them authentic. This is when Peer Review and reputation are very important. The Lancet, for example, is a reputed journal and will not publish just any study without fulfilling certain scientific criteria. The same goes for other market products where certification/authorization from reputed agencies (ISO, BIS, etc) is an important factor to look into.
  • Is using mobile phone injurious to health? The answer is still not clear. Some researchers say it is harmful while others say it is not or the risk is minimal. To Telecom companies, I guess that is literally a billion dollar question. If a telecom company does a study and says it is not harmful while a study by some other party found it to be harmful, that wouldn’t be surprising. Such things do happen. Some of the health programs and disease control initiatives are politically charged territories where vested interests clash with genuine concerns for reduction of human suffering. Research is extremely important to decide which side the course of Health programs will take.
  • In the guise of medical treatment, research institutes can make guinea pigs of us. India has overtaken China as the number one destination for drug trials. Even before proper animal trials, there are reports of studies done where new drugs are tried on human beings without explaining the purpose and the risks involved. This does not mean that we should be closed to researches altogether. In the past, I was told that we refused to give blood samples for fear that it may be used against us. So, when we read the National Family Health Survey, we find that some health statistics are missing for Nagaland. If the researchers had sinister intentions, there are thousands of us staying outside the State who are visiting hospitals and giving blood for various tests. Nevertheless, we need to be careful that we are not taken for a ride. For a few incentives, we should not sell ourselves as laboratory materials.
  • You see a TV commercial of a toothpaste which promises extra and long lasting shine, and the evidence is certified by a dentist in white apron. A sunscreen lotion prepared by using some German technology gives extra UV protection. 51% of the people who used a health tonic (for Rs. 999 only) felt younger in 7 days. And we buy such stories without a second thought. We see a product with a 70% discount and buy it not knowing that the original price was hiked. We see a good offer but forget to notice the asterisk indicating ‘Conditions Apply’. Advertisements backed up by cooked-up researches such as the Notown study are on the rise. Think again. Nagas can be gullible and be easily taken for a ride. For instance, many people from other parts of the country have disappeared with our money after false promises. So, even in our everyday life, we need to be on our guards and keep on doing small researches of our own.

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