To my family (November 11, 2004)
I’m home for Christmas. Today is December 19, 2013. Yesterday, as I was cleaning the house and dusting old books, I found this letter I wrote to my family on November 11, 2004 from Imphal. I was in my final year MBBS and the final university exam (the toughest exam I have ever faced) was fast approaching. It is funny somewhere but here it is, unedited.
It is 3:00 in the morning and I haven’t slept yet. A friend passed away at 10:00 pm and we went to condole the family. I couldn’t slip out and come to bed early as I was leading the singing. She had been suffering from Leukemia/blood cancer and there is no cure in our college. Anywhere in the world, chance of complete cure is just one in a million (about).
Rukuwe’s mom came to visit him and I thought maybe I’ll send a letter to my family through her. A letter about me. The phone line is not working and even if it’s functioning, I can’t talk for long as I want with everyone of you.
I wish to come home for Christmas but I have exams on 23rd Dec and 27th. I’m a little older now and maybe wiser too; I have learned to accept the truth. Many times, all we care about is our feelings and we don’t care about the truth. The truth must come before our feelings, Nevertheless, I’m going to miss you all. In case you miss me too, this may be a small consolation if I tell you how your Imphal boy is doing.
Physically I’m in a fine shape except that I get drowsy very quickly. I’m eating regularly and my appetite is good. I may or may not pass my exam this time but I’m not going to worry about that anymore. I’ll labour hard yet try to keep my head cool. But trying to keep my head cool, I go to the extreme that I’m not serious anymore. That’s my problem. I’m not in a hurry, not ambitious nor competitive, “if not this time, then next time”; this kind of attitude or complacency has some good with a lot of bad, I suppose.
I’m praying that I’ll utilize every hour usefully. Help me.
I have this feeling that everyone is getting tired of running. This world is getting tired of spinning round and round. There is speed and anxiety in every walk of life. People are getting fed up of violence stories, hip hop music, fast food, busy city life. Chasing after things that glitter, career, business etc and after having all the necessary gadgets for a comfortable living, people are finding out that there is something missing – satisfaction in life and rest. Here are a few examples. (1) The dance floors in Delhi and Mumbai are becoming empty, (2) the impact of godliness of the candidates on the USA election results, (3) Hollywood stars starting to embrace old religions. What about us? If this life is all we are living for and everything we have dies with us, how miserable! Then should we stop the things we’re doing? No. Actually the most miserable people are those who have nothing to do. In between the two extremes is a way. The narrow way.
The Naga Students’ Union is organizing an advent Christmas program on the 1st December. As we sit around the fire, I’ll be leading in singing Carol songs. But don’t worry about me, I’ve started to lead singing without practice beforehand and it wouldn’t affect my studies. Because of God’s grace, people often entrust me to sing or lead singing, be it in Students’ Union or Evangelical Union. And my confidence in the Lord has been growing. Talking in between the songs is a problem because my voice does not sound good if I talk. Once the singing starts, no problem.
I have plans that in the future, I’ll continue to do praise and worship singing. Join a group or form one praise group.
I’ve been thinking that doing housemanship in Delhi will be beneficial and interesting. housemanship comes after internship. In Delhi, study materials for PG entrance exam will be easily available. And if I go there, I hope to learn and discover surprises which I’m now not aware of. Broaden my horizon. The pay will be good and if there is a change of plan, I can leave the job anytime. These are some positive points but there are also negatives to consider. Nothing is finalized and for now, it’s just a thought.
I have not talked to mother for a long time and she’s the one I want to talk to the most. I prayed for her headache on 30th October and Aunty (Azho) also informed me on 2nd November that she is doing fine. Aunty also informed me about the harvest. Mother wouldn’t be able to read this and she need to be informed.
Regarding the land in Dimapur, do we still have a sufficiently large area? And how is the encroachment? When the Referral Hospital opens soon, we can make good use of it. We also should be aware that greed has no shame. Some may do the unimaginable to claim it.
Rs. 5000 is a little too much. I never expected to receive that much. I’ll buy a wrist watch for my exam. I need it to measure the heart rate and respiratory rate of my patients. My blanket is too thin for winter and I’ll buy one bed cloth too.
Not right now but soon, it can save a lot of inconveniences if I can have a laptop computer. In my works and plans, the necessity for a computer always arises. The one which is easily transportable like a briefcase.
I’m the editor of our newsletter and I have learned a bit of what a computer can do. There are lots of short term computer courses and probably next year right after exam, I can get time for a 2-3 weeks course (a few days a week). Taking training along with a personal computer can speed up learning by many times. The prices are coming down and presently it may cost about 35 thousands.
Atsolu, if you are reading this. I join you in praising God for giving you a job. If you are getting a pay of Rs. 5000, Rs. 500 is not actually yours. It belongs to the Lord. And the salary is secondary, be a workman whom God approves!
Father, how is it like to be a pastor? I want to know. You know? I can’t pray in our dialect. The thoughts are there but I couldn’t find the words. After exam, I’ll read the Tenyidie Bible I took from you. And maybe I will come down to the village.