Sleeplessness

at tzazu, dec 31, 2013
It is 7th January 2014, 12: 45 AM and I am wide awake. I’m tired of trying to go to sleep. Worse is that on 6th January, I updated my facebook status as the day being the most boring since the world began. I woke up early at Pfutsero and drove to Kohima to attend office for the first time this year. It was cold, silent and no one was in the mood to work. After being away for about 20 days, my house was dusty. I was exhausted, partly because of driving and partly because of a kind of emptiness inside. When you are leaving home after a long stay, that happens I suppose. I have worked hard this winter at home. The hardest was the day Mom, Dad, and I fell trees at Tsazu mountain in order to build a farm house. I had blood blisters bursting in my palms. I was excited with the idea of a farm house and the plans I have there for 2014. But yesterday (and now), I was lazy and irritable. When I came from work, there was no electricity and it was cold. Now, to top it all, I can’t sleep. I usually sleep early. And I can doze off as soon as my head hit the pillow. That is a blessing. But not tonight. It is 01:04 AM as I reach this sentence. 

Other times, I could have kept my silence, read a very boring book, or listen to some mp3 talk and go to sleep eventually. But I’m not going to do that. I went to the kitchen twice and made sure it is not hunger which is keeping me awake. I have just eaten a huge piece of pork fat. Or is it because of the cold? I have an extra blanket and have put on a pair of socks. No. So, let me not try to go to sleep, I decided. And I turned on my laptop and here I am. This may not be a wise decision. Today, I have to attend a wedding as a Steward/Volunteer. And in the evening, I may go up to village to watch Chokri Area Wrestling competition. So, it is necessary that I have a good sound sleep. But as we can see, I’m not having that. This is too much personal stuff which I usually don’t publicise. But tonight’s an exception. This is turning out into one of those writing exercises which is called ‘Writing at the speed of thought’. I have blogged on this elsewhere. This is me going slightly out of control. But I won’t harm a housefly, so don’t be scared. 

Pause. Pause. My eyes are sore. It is 01:19 AM. Pause. Now, it is 01:21 AM. I need to sleep. Too much for someone who can go to bed by 8. Please God, let me have a sound sleep. Angels, sing lullabies for me. You there with the small white wings, you sing soprano, Michael you song bass....Silence. It is 01:25 AM. It will take me 2 days to recover. This is why I used to hate night duties (I take days to recover) – One reason why I chose Public Health over clinical medicine. Yippee, no more night duties! Am I in love? Hmmmm. Shhhhh. Change the topic. It won’t be bad to have company during insomniac attacks, Eh! Full stop. OK. One interesting plan I have for this year: I want to document in which season and in which dates which plant should be planted or seed be sown. Last year, we planted some Rhododendron plants at Pfutsero. Some survived, some didn’t. Why? Because they were planted on different dates. They looked as if they will all survive but when winter came, the latter batch died. So, for plantation/transplantation, there is only a narrow period which should be known. For winter vegetables at Pfutsero, for example, the farmers know just when to sow. It is 01:37 AM. After writing about plants, I feel much better already. I should be able to sleep. I need to try. So, I’m signing off. 01: 38 AM. Save document. Shut Down laptop. Turn off the lights. Try to zzzzzz. If I can’t sleep, I'll listen to a boring mp3 lecture.

(03:30 AM, awake. Listened to an mp3 talk. Didn’t work. 05:55 AM, awake. 06:15 AM, wide awake. I must have slept in bits and pieces. 06:58 AM, preparing to blog it. Dad is on his way from the village, to go to the weddingzzzzz)

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